To the residents of New York City,

Within the next few days inside a haggard u-haul driving down I-80 you'll find the following contents: One (1) Derek Plaslaiko, several records, some clothes and several other objects, to be sure. Let's get one thing straight: much like Team Doyle before him, Plaslaiko is on loan to your city until you guys can get things bumping again. No matter how long he lives there....no matter how much you will feel the propensity to claim him as one of your own....he is a Detroiter first; embodying the spirit and charisma of our music scene. You may THINK he's yours? But he's not. Please refrain from enabling yourself from further turmoil and confusion. Should you find yourself unable to handle his energy and spirit, kindly send him back to Detroit and we'll take good care of him. For much like Vernors and Lafayette Coneys...he's a Detroit treasure, and should be automatically revered as such. Feed him well, give him an adequate wage and a job with reasonable working hours so he can DJ and flourish during the night time. Give him plenty of space to chew up and spit out your tired, impotent electronic music scene and reinvent it gig by gig. But most of all? Brace yourself. I don't think you realize the cyclone kiss we're about to send your way.

Thank you.

Rob Theakston