This is pretty brilliant: Momus' notes towards a definition of 'moronic cynicism'

"The moronic cynic uses cynicism as a way to prepare for the worst. The worst consequently arrives.

Moronic cynicism is still believing that there's a big simple thing called truth, then saying "They're lying to us!"

The moronic cynic's pleasures are always guilty pleasures.

Moronic cynicism is the narcissistic mindset of a fragmented individual in a culture where all individuals resemble each other, and everybody is secretly miserable.

The opposite of moronic cynicism is love."


I personally find the following principles to work quite well:
Prepare for the best.
Truth is a myth.
Find no guilt in pleasure.
Resemble your dreams.
Love.